Monday, May 1, 2017

A procrastinators love

It's been a while since I made myself fluidly available
You know: free, open, vulnerable
Every time I assume I want to take that dive
The fear of swimming turns up on reality

It's been a while since I let someone hurt me
Always dishing out the pain before the expected injury 
Running sprints, marathons, and hurdles with no gains
The victory for me sometimes turns into their disdain

It's been a while since I let anyone shatter my peace
Protecting my sanctities, brushing off envies, and avoiding frenimies
I learned too many times each experience has its own lesson plan
This time around I realized I couldn't cram for this exam

It's been a while since I stopped procrastinating on ME
Polishing my acts and discovering my ability
Not only to bounce back, but bounce forward without acceptance speeches
This time around I'm avoiding any soul leeches

It's been a while since I said anything without dancing around the topic 
It's been a while since I let anyone say "yeah I got it"
It gets old snatching yourself away before deepened attachment 
This time around I found sanity in my postponement

It's been a while

Singly distributing 
what I deserve back into me

For it's been a while. 

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